One of my MOST favorite Saints is the Polish nun Maria Faustina. Her diary is a most wonderful source of meditation, reading just a few lines of her thoughts is enough to set your mind and heart ablaze! One particular section jumped out at me as I was reading yesterday and I thought I would share it as it ties in so closely to seeking perfection…
My Jesus, despite these graces which You send upon me, I feel that my nature, ennobles thought it be, is not completely stilled; and so I keep a constant watch. I must struggle with many faults, knowing well that it is not the struggle which debases one, but cowardice and failure.
Diary, Notebook V 1340
Here we witness the struggle of Faustina, who at the time of this writing of October 1937, was in the middle of an 8 day retreat. She is full to capacity with peace and quiet, joyful to focus her energies only on loving God and meditating on His great mercies and yet she is not completely stilled. Her soul is still missing something and she attributes this to a lack of perfection in her nature. Is Faustina scrutinizing her fault too severely, perhaps, but her determination is quite evident. She understands the great mercy God bestows on a soul who is walking this path. She links our determination and effort to God and how he loves us for this, and not for our failure. We all fail, perhaps every day, but we must continue on with determination.
Faustina kept a special tally of her Victories and Defeats. Each night when she examined her conscience, she would mark them down. It helped her to recognize the good and the bad, the success and failures and it helped her to walk her path to perfection. Maybe this is not such a bad idea. I think I will examine this more in the future.
In today’s general audience Benedict XVI resumed his catechesis on outstanding figures of the early Church. He said in his homily that
“Sanctity grows in the capacity for conversion and penance.”
We may well keep this in mind.
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My song is of mercy and justice;
I sing to you, O Lord.
I will walk in the way of perfection.
O when, Lord, will you come?
I will walk with blameless heart
within my house;
I will not set before my eyes whatever is base.
I will hate the ways of the crooked;
they shall not be my friends.
The false-hearted must keep far away;
with wicked I disown.
The man who slanders his neighbor iin secret
I will bring to silence.
The man of proud looks and haughty heart
I will never endure.
I look to the faithful in the land
that they may dwell with me.
He who walks in the way of perfection
shall be my friend.
No man who practices deceit
shall live within my house.
No man who utters lies shall stand
before my eyes.
Morning by morning I will silence
all the sicked in the land,
uprooting from the city of the Lord
all who do evil.
This is the first Psalmody in today’s Morning Prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours and you can see how the psalmist’s heart is longing for perfection and purification so he may be closer to the Father. While we live in our many imperfections of sin we must constantly be purging ourselves of our faults and shortcomings. Practicing virtue will help us overcome our attatchments to our personal weakness. The psalmist is drawing us a road map, lending us his practical guidance to help us walk this on this road to perfection. Let us pray today to keep our eyes focused and our mouths closed except to speak the truth and to love. Let us pray that we may give so much time to the improvement of ourselves that we will have no time to criticise others.
Let us find more encouragement from St. Paul as he speaks to us the first reading of our mass this morning:
let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us
and persevere in running the race that lies before us
while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus,
the leader and perfecter of faith.
Paul is so right for who could not find the strength to overcome a small fault today just by closing our eyes and imagining Jesus right there with us, helping us and encouraging us to fight our temptation. Sure this is no easy struggle, we must use all our will and strength to do it. But as St. Paul continues he says:
In your struggle against sin
you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.
Heb 12:1-4
Let us meditate on this. If we are contrite and our hearts long only to be with the Father, than we will be determined to find the strength to overcome our weakness and we will recognize that Jesus is with us, helping us through the Holy Spirit to reach our goal.
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Do not be dismayed, daughters, at the number of things which you have to consider before setting out on this Divine journey, which is the royal road to Heaven. By taking this road we gain such precious treasures that it is no wonder if the cost seems to us a high one. The time will come when we shall realize that all we have paid has been nothing at all by comparison with the greatness of our prize.
Let us now return to those who wish to travel on this road, and will not halt until they reach their goal, which is the place where they can drink of this water of life. Although in some book or other — in several, in fact — I have read what a good thing it is to begin in this way, I do not think anything will be lost if I speak of it here. As I say, it is most important — all-important, indeed — that they should begin well by making an earnest and most determined resolve not to halt until they reach their goal, whatever may come, whatever may happen to them, however hard they may have to labor, whoever may complain of them, whether they reach their goal or die on the road or have no heart to confront the trials which they meet, whether the very world dissolves before them. Yet again and again people will say to us: “It is dangerous”, “So-and-so was lost through doing this”, “Someone else got into wrong ways”, “Some other person, who was always praying, fell just the same”, “It is bad for virtue”, “It is not meant for women; it may lead them into delusions”, “They would do better to stick to their spinning”, “These subtleties are of no use to them”, “It is quite enough for them to say their Paternoster and Ave Maria.”
St. Teresa of Avila,
The Way of Perfection — CHAPTER 21
If we are to begin upon this journey of prayer, we must have a firm resolve and a determination of spirit. It is so easy to say to ourselves that I am not good enough for prayer or I’ll forget to pray or I’m too distracted in my own day to day thoughts. The truth is, that the time to start prayer is always NOW. Your prayer, if it comes from the heart, will help to transform your will. It will eventually overpower your many distracting thoughts and allow you to soak into the unknowing love of our most generous and merciful Heavenly Father. St. Teresa of Avila the famous Carmelite saint and Doctor of Prayer spent over 10 years in determined effort to overcome her distractions!! If it was this hard for her, no doubt it will be difficult for us, but the reward is great for those who practice!
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