aeternus

“O my God, I am over come with great longing for You today. Oh, nothing else any longer occupies my heart. The earth no longer contains anything for me. O Jesus, how strongly I feel this exile, how very prolonged it is for me! O death, messenger of God, when will you announce to me that longed for moment, through which I will be united to my God forever?

O my Jesus, may the last days of my exile be spent totally according to Your most holy will. I unite my sufferings, my bitterness and my last agony itself to Your Sacred Passion; and I offer myself for the whole world to implore an abundance of God’s mercy for souls, and in particular for the souls who are in our homes. I firmly trust and commit myself entirely to Your holy will, which is mercy itself. Your mercy will be everything for me at the last hour, as You yourself have promised me…

Hail to You, Eternal Love, My Sweet Jesus, who have condescended to dwell in my heart! I salute You, O glorious Godhead who have deigned to stoop to me, and out of love for me have so emptied Yourself as to assume the insignificant form of bread. I salute You, Jesus, never fading flower of humanity, You are all there is for my soul. Your love is purer than a lily, and Your presence is more pleasing to me than the fragrance of a hyacinth. Your friendship is more tender and subtle than the scent of a rose, and yet it is stronger than death. I Jesus, incomprehensible beauty, it is with pure souls that You communicate best, because they alone are capable of heroism and sacrifice. O sweet, rose red blood of Jesus, ennoble my blood and change it into Your own blood, and let this be done to me according to Your good pleasure.”

From: Divine Mercy In my soul The Diary of Sister M. Faustina Kowalska Perpetually Professed member of the Congregation of Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy NOTEBOOK V

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I can not thank a certain person enough. When I was in a panic last week and feeling rather fearful over things that were out of my control, she stepped away from her own concerns to send me this beautiful quotation from Saint Francis de Sales. She said it had helped her and in her own words, “if it wasn’t so long, I would tattoo it on my arm!”

In order for the beautiful words to help me, I ended up repeating them about 250,000 times but finally they were able to penetrate my neurotic mind and seep down into my heart. I hope they will aid another soul who needs calming…

St. Francis said:

“Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father Who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations and say continually: The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me, but in Me, and I in Him.”

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Please forgive me if I have been posting an over-abundance of meditations from Saint John of the Cross lately. I am in the middle of studying his work, The Ascent of Mt. Carmel, and am coming across all his most famous quotes that I just have to share…

In this quotation, John is trying to relate how God is present in the soul of even the greatest sinner in this world. He says:

“It is true that God is ever present in the soul, as we said, and thereby bestows and preserves its natural being by his sustaining presence. Yet he does not always communicate supernatural being to it. He communicates supernatural being only through love and grace, which not all souls possess. And those who do, do not possess them in the same degree. Some have attained higher degrees of love, others remain in lower degrees. To the soul that is more advanced in love, more conformed to the divine will, God communicates himself more. A person who has reached complete conformity and likeness of will has attained total supernatural union and transformation in God.”

As John wants to educate us on how to prepare our own souls for a deeper union with God. He is wont for a good illustration and so next he gives his famous “smudgy window” explanation…

“A ray of sunlight shining on a smudgy window is unable to illumine that window completely and transform it into its own light. It could do this if the window were cleaned and polished. The less the film and stain are wiped away, the less the window will be illumined; and the cleaner the window is, the brighter will be its illumination. The extent of illumination is not dependent on the ray of sunlight but on the window. If the window is totally clean and pure, the sunlight will so transform and illumine it that to all appearances the window will be identical with the ray of sunlight and shine just as the sun’s ray. Although obviously the nature of the window is distinct from that of the sun’s ray (even if the two seem identical), we can assert that the window is the ray or light of the sun by participation. The soul on which the divine light of God’s being is ever shining, or better, in which it is ever dwelling by nature, is like this window, as we have affirmed.

A soul makes room for God by wiping away all the smudges and smears of creatures, by uniting its will perfectly to God’s; for to love is to labor to divest and deprive oneself for God of all that is not God. When this is done the soul will be illumined by and transformed in God. And God will so communicate his supernatural being to the soul that it will appear to be God himself and will possess what God himself possesses.

When God grants this supernatural favor to the soul, so great a union is caused that all the things of both God and the soul become one in participant transformation, and the soul appears to be God more than a soul. Indeed, it is God by participation. Yet truly, its being (even though transformed) is naturally as distinct from God’s as it was before, just as the window, although illumined by the ray, has being distinct from the ray’s.”

– St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mt. Carmel Book II Chapter 5

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More on St. John of the Cross’s counsel…

To reach satisfaction in all
desire satisfaction in nothing.
To come to possess all
desire the possession of nothing.
To arrive at being all
desire to be nothing.
To come to the knowledge of all
desire the knowledge of nothing.

To come to enjoy what you have not
you must go by a way in which you enjoy not.
To come to the knowledge you have not
you must go by a way in which you know not.
To come to the possession you have not
you must go by a way in which you possess not.
To come to be what you are not
you must go by a way in which you are not.

-stained glass window and a shadow of St. Joseph at the Carmel of St. Joseph, Saint Louis, MO

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Just thought I would share a little bit from a novena for the Grace of Childlike Trust… its day six of the novena…

“The torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls” (Jesus to St. Faustina from her Diary 1602)

Faustina: “O How beautiful is a humble soul! God refuses nothing to such a soul; she is all powerful and influsences the destiny of the whole world. God raises such a soul up to His very throne, and the more she humbles herself, the more God stoops down to her, pursuing her with His graces and accompanying her at every moment with His omnipotence. Such a soul is most deeply united with God” (Diary 1306)

Saint Faustina, obtain for me the grace of true humility so that I may accept the truth about God, about the world and about myself. And may this make me trustful, like a child towards its heavenly Father, acknowledging my dependence on Him as Creator and Savior.

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O.K., well, like, the cow really has nothing to do with this blog entry, its just another photo from my photo adventure to Iowa during the political caucus there. I’m a city girl and was fascinated to spot this herd of beautiful moo cows in the snow… so sweet with its little pink eyes and nose… onto something completely different…

St. John of the Cross had a list of “spiritual maxims” he would use to educate souls how to manage through their spiritual trials and sufferings. He used them himself in order to “gain a great deal in a short time” while a soul is on the journey to the Father and may be navigating through the confusion of the “Dark Night.

John says in the Ascent of Mount Carmel (in book 1 chapter 13 which is perhaps the most important chapter in book 1)

“By this method you should endeavor, then, to leave the senses as though in darkness, mortified and empty of that satisfaction. With such vigilance you will gain a great deal in a short time.

Many blessings flow when the four natural passions (joy, hope, fear, and sorrow) are in harmony and at peace. The following maxims contain a complete method for mortifying and pacifying them.  If put into practice these maxims will give rise to abundant merit and great virtues.

Endeavor to be inclined always:

not to the easiest, but to the most difficult;
not to the most delightful, but to the most distasteful;
not to the most gratifying, but to the less pleasant;
not to what means rest for you, but to hard work;
not to the consoling, but to the unconsoling;
not to the most, but to the least;
not to the highest and most precious, but to the lowest and most despised;
not to wanting something, but to wanting nothing.
Do not go about looking for the best of temporal things, but for the worst, and, for Christ, desire to enter into complete nakedness, emptiness, and poverty in everything in the world.

You should embrace these practices earnestly and try to overcome the repugnance of your will toward them. If you sincerely put them into practice with order and discretion, you will discover in them great delight and consolation.”

- St. John of the Cross - Ascent of Mount Carmel Bk 1, Chs 13

This little list of spiritual maxims could be misunderstood quite easily. It seems as if St. John is asking us to volunteer for “KP duty” in God’s Army. But the truth is, if we are to purge ourselves of all personal vanity and attachment, John is giving us some very good advice to follow. If we are surprised by something good coming out of practicing this little set of rules, praise God. If we find no satisfaction at all through practicing them, praise God. Personal satisfaction has nothing to do with doing Gods will. But if we stick with this advice of St. John and practice, practice, practice we will see virtue grow even if we do not feel or notice it.

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…to be prepared for this divine union the intellect must be cleansed and emptied of everything relating to sense, divested and liberated of everything clearly intelligible, inwardly pacified and silenced, and supported by faith alone, which is the only proximate and proportionate means to union with God. For the likeness between faith and God is so close that no other difference exists than that between believing in God and seeing him. Just as God is infinite, faith proposes him to us as infinite. Just as there are three Persons in one God, it presents him to us in this way. And just as God is darkness to our intellect, so faith dazzles and blinds us. Only by means of faith, in divine light exceeding all understanding, does God manifest himself to the soul. The greater one’s faith the closer is one’s union with God.

– St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel Bk 2, Chapter 9

— yet another snow photo from our Iowa trip..

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I was so inspired reading from the book of Sirach this morning in the Office of Readings so I thought I would share a bit…

I have not been posting as frequently these past few weeks as I have been quite busy with a particular project in my freelance work. It has really distracted me and I know I need to step away from this project for a little to center myself again. I’m feeling overwhelmed and short of patience (well, I think all patience is gone really…) I’m sure I could use a retreat, but I guess it will have to wait. I pray for greater TRUST in the Lord, for I am sure even though I can not see Him, He is there guiding my path.

I guess that is why the reading from Sirach inspired me so much today. I am certainly another “weakling and failure” akin to the one he talks about in this passage. A quick note about this book. The New American Bible says about the author:

The author, a sage who lived in Jerusalem, was thoroughly imbued with love for the law, the priesthood, the temple, and divine worship. As a wise and experienced observer of life he addressed himself to his contemporaries with the motive of helping them to maintain religious faith and integrity through study of the holy books, and through tradition.

The book contains numerous maxims formulated with care, grouped by affinity, and dealing with a variety of subjects such as the individual, the family, and the community in their relations with one another and with God. It treats of friendship, education, poverty and wealth, the law, religious worship, and many other matters which reflect the religious and social customs of the time.

Written in Hebrew between 200 and 175 B.C., the text was translated into Greek sometime after 132 B.C. by the author’s grandson, who also wrote a Foreword which contains information about the book, the author, and the translator himself….

Though not included in the Hebrew Bible after the first century A.D., nor accepted by Protestants, the Book of Sirach has always been recognized by the Catholic Church as divinely inspired and canonical. The Foreword, though not inspired, is placed in the Bible because of its antiquity and importance.

Here is the passage Sirach 11:12-28

Another goes his way a weakling and a failure,
with little strength and great misery–
Yet the eyes of the LORD look favorably upon him;
he raises him free of the vile dust,
Lifts up his head and exalts him to the amazement of the many.
Good and evil, life and death, poverty and riches, are from the LORD.
Wisdom and understanding and knowledge of affairs,
love and virtuous paths are from the LORD.
Error and darkness were formed with sinners from their birth,
and evil grows old with evildoers.
The LORD’S gift remains with the just;
his favor brings continued success.
A man may become rich through a miser’s life,
and this is his allotted reward:
When he says: “I have found rest, now I will feast on my possessions,”
He does not know how long it will be till he dies and leaves them to others.
My son, hold fast to your duty,
busy yourself with it,
grow old while doing your task.
Admire not how sinners live,
but trust in the LORD and wait for his light;
For it is easy with the LORD suddenly,
in an instant, to make a poor man rich.
God’s blessing is the lot of the just man,
and in due time his hopes bear fruit.
Say not: “What do I need?
What further pleasure can be mine?”
Say not: “I am independent.
What harm can come to me now?”
The day of prosperity makes one forget adversity;
the day of adversity makes one forget prosperity.
For it is easy with the LORD on the day of death to repay man according to his deeds.
A moment’s affliction brings forgetfulness of past delights;
when a man dies, his life is revealed.
Call no man happy before his death,
for by how he ends, a man is known.

– This little snowy tree photo is from that trip to Iowa we took a few weeks back…

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For baby Elijah who receives his first sacrament today on the same day we celebrate the Baptism of the Lord. He is a very special little one and so I am sure you will all join in a prayer for him this day. His mother and grandmother are going to ask our Blessed Mother for a special blessing through this prayer…

ACT OF CONSECRATION
TO THE BLESSED VIRGIN
(For infants at time of Baptism)

O blessed Virgin Mary our Mother,
when the Son of God decided
to take upon Himself our human life
in order that we might share in His Divine Life,
He did not wish to come to us
without your free cooperation.
He deliberately willed to have need of you.

Look down today from heaven upon little Elijah.
He has received from his parents the life of man,
and now by the Holy Sacrament of Baptism,
he has been given a life which is infinitely superior,
the very life of God.
We know that just as God is his Father and our Father,
you are, in regard to his spiritual life,
his Mother and our Mother.

We confide this child to you.
Show yourself his Mother.
Watch over his education;
nourish him with the life of grace;
make him progress in his Christian life
just as his human parents aid him to progress
in physical as well as spiritual life.

Protect the precious life
which has just been received.
Be for him a real Mother
to guard him in your arms
when the devil seeks to destroy his spiritual life
in your Son Jesus Christ.
May he love you as Jesus Christ loved you,
for our love for you is nothing else but
a participation in the love of your Son for you.

In the name of this child Elijah,
we wish to make today
his first prayer to his heavenly Mother.

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with Thee,
blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death.

(Composed by Fr. Noel le Mire, S.M. and adapted by W. Cole, S.M.)

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Prayer to the Mother of Mercy

O Mother of holy love, our life, our refuge, and our hope,
thou well knowest that thy Son Jesus Christ,
not content with being Himself our perpetual advocate with the Eternal Father,
has willed that thou also shouldst interest thyself with Him,
in order to obtain the Divine Mercies for us.
He has decreed that thy prayers should aid our salvation,
and has made them so efficacious that they obtain all that they ask.
To thee therefore, who art the hope of the miserable,
do I, a wretched sinner, turn my eyes. I trust, O Lady,
that in the first place through the merits of Jesus Christ,
and then through thine intercession, I shall be saved.
Of this I am certain; and my confidence in thee is such
that if my eternal salvation were in my own hands
I should place it in thine,
for I rely more on thy mercy and protection than on all my own works.
My Mother and my hope, abandon me not,
though I deserve that thou shouldst do so.
See my miseries, and, being moved thereby with compassion,
help and save me.
I own that I have too often closed my heart, by my sins,
against the lights and helps that thou hast procured for me from the Lord.
But thy compassion for the miserable, and thy power with God,
far surpass the number and malice of my sins.
It is well known to all, both in Heaven and on earth,
that whosoever is protected by thee is certainly saved.
All may forget me, provided only that thou dost remember me,
O Mother of an omnipotent God.
Tell Him that I am thy servant; say only that thou defendest me,
and I shall be saved. O Mary, I trust in thee; in this hope I live;
in it I desire and hope to die, repeating always, “Jesus is my only hope,
and after Jesus the most blessed Virgin Mary.”

– St. Alphonsus Ligouri

Photo of a sunset over an Iowa farm December 31, 2007 

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There is a wonderful short article on prayer from the Catholic Weekly “Niedziela” in Czestochowa, Poland. I will include a short bit of the article where it talks about St. John of the Cross. Many folks find the idea of the “Dark Night of the Soul” confusing and sometimes people heap all their woes in life on “being in the dark night”. But those statements are neither fair nor accurate. The Dark Night deals only with prayer and how God leads us towards perfection and union with Him. We participate by being attentive to prayer, practice virtue and “hold on in blind faith” as we are lead by our Lord.

Here is an excerpt from the article…

Prayer of the heart

Is ‘the night of the senses’ or emotional indisposition the cause of my difficulties in prayer? How can you check that? St John of the Cross gives three signs: when they appear at the same time they indicate the night of the senses. The first sign: man does not take pleasure in prayer and cannot enjoy created, material things, either. The second sign: man thinks that he does not serve God properly since he does not feel any pleasures connected with prayer and is concerned about that. The third sign: man cannot reflect and use imagination in prayer as he used to. So first of all prayer means abiding in God’s presence. It is deeper and more fruitful. Man is not moved by his emotional waves; he is being healed from his spiritual pride. Humility, self-control and moderation are born in him. ‘Besides overcoming imperfections, Cezary Sekalski writes in his book ‘Misterium przemiany wewnetrznej’ [Mystery of Inner Change] the night of the senses brings about spiritual effects. These are: constant remembrance of God’s presence as well as growth in patience and God’s love. Since man becomes active not because of some spiritual pleasure but because of God. He also grows in fortitude in facing adversities and gains perfection in all theogonal virtues (faith, hope, love) and cardinal virtues (prudence, justice, moderation, fortitude) as well as moral virtues.’ Fr Tochmanski calls contemplative prayer ‘prayer of the heart’. ‘I will use a metaphor of a car. To start it you need to start the engine. The same applies to prayer. Before you hear the noise of the exhaust pipe, which mean your lips, you must start the engine, i.e. your heart’, the Discalced Carmelite friar explains.

Here is the link to the full article (in English!)

photo of a frosted and snowy hill near Malcom, Iowa.

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Christmas seems to continue along into the new year and we were blessed to take a family trip up to Iowa to visit with very special folks who we consider to be adopted family. In fact, if it was not for these wonderful souls my husband and I would never have met so many years ago.

It was interesting to be in Iowa among the beauty of recent snow. The children were so happy to go for sled rides that they did not notice the pungent smells of the heartland farms which seems to permeate the air even during the crisp and frozen conditions around us. (O.K.  So maybe the smells did bother Mom’s nose a bit, but I am thankful for them for we had a delicious ham dinner that night!)

In Iowa it is the time for the first “caucus” in the U.S.  The Presidential elections spurred much fan fare despite the holidays and the telephone kept ringing every couple of minutes with another invitation to “meet so and so” at some political rally or other. I am not one for the whole hullabaloo of political life so this was a bit nutty to me. However, my daughter (age 7) decided to make her own “caucus” and she made a great and intricate drawing of names, lines and stars to indicate who was doing well in the polls. In the end, even though I received a few last minute stars, I still came in second to the dog. So it is Obi who won the family caucus of Iowa poll! Somebody call CNN!

The trip home to St. Louis was filled with a bit of excitement as the snow caused a big fog. This fog had continued for a great many days and the condensation upon all the tree branches re-crystalized to form some spectacular scenery. We took a bit of a detour (bless my husband for his patience to do this and so to satisfy my photo adventure spirit) and had a great time spying all God’s wonder. Too bad by the time we got back on the highway it was near blizzard conditions again!

This is a photo from us driving… it is the main highway!

Nevertheless, with some more patience we finally made it south into Missouri. After crossing the boarder the storm subsided and eventually we were southward enough to have no snow at all. The children were not to happy about this, but were VERY happy to have had snow with their friends on the sled hill!

I think I will post some photos for the next couple of days from our trip. I have so often complained there is not much scenery in the Midwest, but after this little trip, I believe I just need to appreciate the subtle beauty there is. In other words, I need to look a little closer…

Here is a little poem I found today which I thought quite nice as it reminded me in parts of our adventure…

The House of Christmas
By G. K. Chesterton

There fared a mother driven forth
Out of an inn to roam;
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
Grew a stronger thing to abide and stand
Than the square stones of Rome.

For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honour and high surprise,
But our homes are under miraculous skies
Where the yule tale was begun.

A Child in a foul stable,
Where the beasts feed and foam;
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost - how long ago!
In a place no chart nor ship can show
Under the sky’s dome.

This world is wild as an old wives’ tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
Where clashed and thundered unthinkable wings
Round an incredible star.

To an open house in the evening
Home shall men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home.

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