aeternus

“That soul, as if, in truth, inebriated, seemed beside herself, as if the feelings of the body were alienated through the union of love which she had made with her Creator, and as if, in elevation of mind, she had gazed into the eternal truth with the eye of her intellect, and, having recognized the truth, had become enamored of it, and said, “Oh! Supreme and Eternal Goodness of God, who am I, miserable one, that You, Supreme and Eternal Father, have manifested to me Your Truth, and the hidden deceits of the Devil, and the deceitfulness of personal feeling, so that I, and others in this life of pilgrimage, may know how to avoid being deceived by the Devil or ourselves! What moved you to do it? Love, because You loved me, without my having loved You. Oh, Fire of Love! Thanks, thanks be to You, Eternal Father! I am imperfect and full of darkness, and You, Perfection and Light, have shown to me perfection, and the resplendent way of the doctrine of Your only-begotten Son.”

– The Dialogue of Saint Catherine of Siena

What a great feast day we celebrate today!  The soul of St. Louis de Montfort was continually seeking Jesus through the inspiration of our Blessed Mother.  It is a great grace for us that not only was he prayerfully and thoughtfully united to this goal but he had the great custom of writing down his thoughts for us!  Here is a prayer for his day...

Hail, Mary, most beloved daughter of the eternal Father; hail,

Mary, most admirable mother of the Son; hail, Mary,

most faithful spouse of the Holy Spirit;

hail, Mary, Mother most dear, Lady most lovable,

Queen most powerful! Hail, Mary, my joy, my glory, my heart and soul.

You are all mine through God’s mercy, but I am all yours in justice.

Yet I do not belong sufficiently to you, and so once again,

as a slave who always belongs to his master, I give myself wholly to you,

reserving nothing for myself or for others.

If you still see anything in me which is not given to you,please take it now.

Make yourself completely owner of all my capabilities.

Destroy in me everything that is displeasing to God.

Uproot it and bring it to nothing.

Implant in me all that you deem to be good;

improve it and make it increase in me.

May the light of your faith dispel the darkness of my mind.

May your deep humility take the place of my pride.

May your heavenly contemplation put an end to the distractions of my wandering imagination.

May your continuous vision of God fill my memory with his presence.

May the burning love of your heart inflame the coldness of mine.

May your virtues take the place of my sins.

May your merits be my adornment and make up for my unworthiness before God.

Finally, most dearly beloved Mother, grant, if it be possible,

that I may have no other spirit but yours to know Jesus and his divine will.

May I have no soul but yours to praise and glorify the Lord.

May I have no heart but yours to love God purely and ardently as you love him.

I do not ask for visions or revelations, for sensible devotion or even spiritual pleasures. I

t is your privilege to see God clearly in perpetual light.

It is your privilege to savour the delights of heaven where nothing is without sweetness.

It is your privilege to triumph gloriously in heaven at the right hand of your Son

without further humiliation, and to command angels, men, and demons,

without resistance on their part.

It is your privilege to dispose at your own choice of all the good gifts of God without any exception.

Such, most holy Mary, is the excellent portion which the Lord has given you,

and which will never be taken from you, and which gives me great joy.

As for my portion here on earth, I wish only to have a share in yours,

that is, to have simple faith without seeing or tasting,

to suffer joyfully without the consolation of men,

to die daily to myself without flinching,

to work gallantly for you even until death without any self-interest,

as the most worthless of your slaves.

The only grace I beg you in your kindness to obtain for me

is that every day and moment of my life I may say this threefold Amen:

Amen, so be it, to all you did upon earth;

Amen, so be it, to all you are doing now in heaven;

Amen, so be it, to all you are doing in my soul.

In that way, you and you alone will fully glorify

Jesus in me during all my life and throughout eternity.

Amen.

–  a prayer from “The Secret of Mary” by St. Louis de Montfort

** Photograph of main Altar Cross at Saint Anselm Abbey Church | St. Louis, Missouri.

SOME reckon their age by years,
Some measure their life by art;
But some tell their days by the flow of their tears,
And their lives by the moans of their heart.

The dials of earth may show
The length,-not the depth of years,
Few or many they come,-few or many they go,
But Time is best measured by tears.

Ah ! not by the silver gray
That creeps thro’ the sunny hair,
And not by the scenes that we pass on our way
And not by the furrows, the fingers of care

On forehead and face have made.
Not so do we count our years;
Not by the sun of the earth, but the shade
Of our souls, and the fall of our tears.

For the young are oft-times old,
Though their brows be bright and fair;
While their blood beats warm, their hearts are cold-
O’er them the Spring-but Winter is there.

And the old are oft-times young,
When their hair is thin and white;
And they sing in age, as in youth they sung,
And they laugh, for their cross was light.

But, bead by bead, I tell
The Rosary of my years;
From a cross-to a cross they lead ; ’tis well,
And they’re blest with a blessing of tears.

Better a day of strife,
Than a century of sleep;
Give me instead of a long stream of life
The tempests and tears of the deep.

A thousand joys may foam
On the billows of all the years;
But never the foam brings the lone back home,-
It reaches the haven through tears.

– Fr. Abram Joseph Ryan

** Fr. Ryan’s Poems, Published by J. L. Rapier & co., 1879

I met with a friend of mine on Sunday afternoon.  She is a wonderful soul who knows my appreciation for the literary works of Sister Miriam of the Holy Spirit.  She smiled at me upon our meeting and looking up to me (for she is a bit stooped over with age) she wagged her finger and then pulled a very old book out from behind her back.  Her happy grin told me this book was something special and she began to tell me about Father Ryan, the poet priest of the South who was a chaplain during the Civil War.

There is no doubt I have much to learn about just who this lyricist was.  In fact, I believe scholars are still arguing this out amongst themselves (their battles lasting a few years longer than the war of the North and South itself!)  Father was branded a “Southern Sympathizer” as he left his duties at the Seminary to go and administer to the needs of the soldiers.  To his posterity, however, there is today a statue standing in Mobile, Alabama which denotes him as the “poet-priest of the Confederacy.”

I wish not to present life Father’s story here but only to glimpse at his poetic meanderings.  A soul, however, has only to glance at a few poems in this collection to have itself stirred and uplifted on a wonderful journey of prayer.  I will share just one here but would like to share more if I may…

What

To Ethel

At the golden gates of the visions
I knelt me adown one day;
But sudden my prayer was a silence,
For I heard from the “Far away”
The murmur of many voices
And a silvery censer’s sway.

I bowed in awe, and I listened -
The deeps of my soul were stirred,
But deepest of all was the meaning
Of the far-off music I heard,
And yet it was stiller than silence,
Its notes were the “Dream of a Word.”

A word that is whispered in heaven,
But cannot be heart below,
It lives on the lips of the angels
Where’er their pure wings glow,
Yes only the “Dream of its Echo”
Ever reaches this valley of woe.

But I know the word and its meaning;
I reached to its height that day,
When prayer sank into a silence
And my heart was so far away;
But I may not murmur the music,
Nor the word may my lips yet say.

But some day far in the future,
And up from the dust of the dead,
and out of my lips hen speechless,
The mystical word shall be said,
“Twill come to thee, still as a spirit,
When the soul of the bard has fled.

** The photo at the top is mine but the the above is a photo of Father I found on a website where you can find more of Father Ryan’s Poems.

Blessed Sacrament Chapel - Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis

I must admit that after my Morning Prayer that I got a jolt of excitement when I saw the text message about our new Archbishop being announced.  How fun it is to be up early and get such a blessed message.

I hurried off to mass where I was hopeful to meet a soul who did not yet know the news, but my hopes were dashed as the few people in the chapel already had their “morning briefing”!  Alas, it was good to witness their happiness and Father announced we would offer mass for the new Archbishop.  He then quickly made a phone call or two to confirm before officially adding the new Archbishop’s name to the canon of the mass.  Truly, every soul was a-glow with happiness and enthusiasm.

The Arms of Bishop Carlson read his watchword –

“ANTE CRUCEM NIHIL DEFENSIONIS ”

translated:

“Before the Cross there is no Defense”

This past advent season in a pastoral letter entitled “Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace” the Bishop wrote to his flock in Saginaw saying Eucharistic Adoration is the “Key to Peace”.  He writes:

“If, day by day, week by week, month by month we give our hearts to Jesus Christ and his peace, then all that we say and do will become an invitation to others to share in His peace. As our love for Jesus becomes more intimate, our love for each other will become more understanding, and our love for the poor more compassionate. Our own lives will become building blocks for peace.

By the same token: if our own hearts lack peace, then all of our actions will invite others to share the restlessness and anxiety that dwells within us. We may still do good deeds. But our deeds will not touch the deep needs and disorders of human hearts — which are the ultimate sources of violence.

I believe that every person can help bring peace to the world. If you regularly place yourself in the presence of Christ, especially in the Blessed Sacrament, peace will first come to your own heart. If peace takes possession of your heart, it can spread through you to your family. If peace takes root in your family, it can flower and grow in your community and, ultimately, spread to the nation and the world.”

I am truly glad to read such fine words and to know what importance our new Archbishop places upon Eucharistic Adoration.  It is with prayerful hope and love that we welcome our new Shepherd.  May God’s most holy will be fulfilled with excited dedication here and may many souls find hope in their eternity through the work and mission of the leadership of the Church in St. Louis!  I will offer my holy hour for our new Archbishop today.

Amen – Alleluia!

I wish I could post a photo for you here of the new Archbishop but you’ll just have to Twitter one today.  Perhaps I will have the opportunity to share one in the near future.  ** Update:  I thought Twitter had photos?!  

Pope Benedict XVI announced April 21 the appoinment of The Most Rev. Robert J. Carlson as Archbishop of St. Louis. Bishop Carlson is currently Bishop of the Diocese of Saginaw Michigan. He will succeed Archbishop Raymond L. Burke as and will become St. Louis’ 10th bishop.

The Archdiocese of St. Louis hold a press conference with the Archbishop-elect at 10:30 a.m. (CST) today. More information and a live stream can be found on the Archdiocesan website (www.archstl.org).

Bishop Robert J. Carlson was installed as the fifth bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Saginaw on February 24, 2005 at the direction of Pope John Paul II. A native of Minneapolis, Minn., he was ordained to the priesthood on May 23, 1970 for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. He was later ordained as an auxiliary bishop for his home archdiocese on January 11, 1984 and went on to serve as Bishop of Sioux Falls, S.D., from 1994 to 2005.

Bishop Robert Hermann, auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Saint Louis, said of Bishop Carlson, “Archbishop-elect Carlson is 64 years of age and has celebrated his 25th anniversary of his Episcopal ordination. I have known Archbishop-elect Carlson for a number of years. He is a very energetic, articulate, warm and gifted pastor and administrator.”

Praising his many accomplishments, Bishop Hermann continued, “In the past five years in Saginaw, he has raised the number of seminarians from two to eighteen! He has published six pastoral letters, and has created the Saginaw Area Catholic Schools system. He is very dedicated to Life issues. He thinks and works with the Church he loves, and will continue to build upon the legacy of his predecessors here in St. Louis.”

For those who would like to follow the Bishop around today you can watch on Twitter. (I’ve got to admit not being a Twitter but well, maybe you are!)

Alleluia!  Happy Easter!  Its been a few days since I posted but we are still celebrating!

As I photographed this lovely little bee buzzing around a beautiful field of springtime tulips today I mused upon the words of St. Teresa of Avila.  This quotation on prayer is from Chapter II of her masterpiece on prayer, The Interior Castle.  In this particular paragraph she is describing how much is “gained by meditating on the divine perfections.”  I will put in parenthesise little helpful clues in case you have not read this work and are unfamiliar with Teresa’s symbol-isms… Here is the quote…

“A soul which gives itself to prayer, either much or little, should on no account be kept within narrow bounds (of prayer).  Since God has given it such great dignity, permit it to wander at will through the rooms of the castle (your soul), from the lowest to the highest. Let it not force itself to remain for very long in the same mansion (place of prayer within one’s soul), even that of self-knowledge. Mark well, however, that self-knowledge is indispensable, even for those whom God takes to dwell in the same mansion with Himself. Nothing else, however elevated, perfects the soul which must never seek to forget its own nothingness. Let humility be always at work, like the bee at the honeycomb, or all will be lost. But, remember, the bee leaves its hive to fly in search of flowers and the soul should sometimes cease thinking of itself to rise in meditation on the grandeur and majesty of its God.”

P.S. We are on the 6th day of the Divine Mercy Novena
Today bring to Me the Meek and Humble Souls and the Souls of  Little Children,

and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence.

Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, “Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart.” Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek and humble souls and the souls of little children. These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father’s favorites. They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God Himself takes delight in their fragrance. These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they unceasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek souls, upon humble souls, and upon little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son. Their fragrance rises from the earth and reaches Your very throne. Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.

Just thought I would share a photo of mine illustrating both the sadness of our time of mourning on this Holy Saturday but yet the time of hope and finally joy to come. It is a good photo for meditation.

Service of the Lord's Passion at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis April,9 2009. After Good Friday services which include the Veneration of the Cross, the cross is left upon the altar for private prayer. The main white marble crucifix is covered with a red cloth until Easter Vigil on Saturday Night.

Second Day
“Today bring to Me the Souls of Priests and Religious,

and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave me strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them as through channels My mercy flows out upon mankind.”

Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in men and women consecrated to Your service,* that they may perform worthy works of mercy; and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the company of chosen ones in Your vineyard — upon the souls of priests and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of Your Son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.

I know I should have remembered to bring a kleenex with me last night…

The Mass of the Lord’s Supper was a beautiful celebration as was the poignant moments of the Bishop washing the feet of his young seminarians.  The symbolism of the washing and cleansing which comes to us through the monumental suffering and death of our Lord is such a mighty concept.  That He died for each of us — each soul in every age and time… it is mind boggling is it not?!

I took this photo at the beginning of the Tenebrae services.  I was eager to quietly capture a quick moment so I could get back to my pew and chant along with the psalms.  I really don’t have the words to describe all that went through my mind and soul during this time of prayer.  I felt somehow existing in both the past and the future as these ancient hymns transcend time and speak directly to the human emotional condition of longing for the peace of God.  Truly it was a beautiful prayer shared between all as they lifted up their hearts in quiet chanted song. (Special note: the seminarians in the choir should be commended for their beautiful voices!)

At the end of the Tenebrae service, there is only one candle remaining lit upon the altar.   We can see it is our only light when it is suddenly taken away.  The candle is hidden behind the altar and all that is left is a still, silent darkness enveloping everyone and everything.   It is an excruciating painful moment.  The heartbreak and despair over our light being taken from us and extinguished is overwhelming.  The church is scared and alone for we do not yet know of the glorious resurrection.

Shattering the quietude of our grieving heart, a monstrous noise pounds and echos throughout the immense chapel.  It is like the sound of the earthquake which shook the world upon Christ’s final breath on the cross.  It is a loud (really loud) banging and clattering of wood on wood which pierces a heart already so aware of its seeming aloneness.  I was frozen and so completely overwhelmed by this resonating cacophony that I could not move.  Tears in buckets produced themselves from nowhere . I could not think, I could only exist in loving sadness with our Savior.   My heart seemed terribly bereaved because it felt  that the world today would do the same thing to Jesus as they did back then.  It is just so sad, so completely sad.  Oh Father, give us the grace to know you better and to see you in others.  May you fill our hearts with love to overcome all that is gone astray.  May we see ourselves as brother and sister in the light of your Eternal glory…Amen.

—

p.s.  You can begin your Divine Mercy Novena today:

First Day
“Today bring to Me all mankind, especially all sinners,

and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me.”

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

Holy Chrism Mass at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis

There is something so overwhelmingly positive and healing to one’s heart and soul and that thing is to be surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of holy Priests and celebrate mass with them!  It is like being wrapped in a mantle of joy and hope as you revel in the secure confidence of Eternity.  Their witness to the faith is so inspiring and it is a gift of immense proportion and I pray that they really know the love and admiration we have for them!

The Chrism Mass celebrated at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis is a most special mass which happens only once a year.  The mass must occur at the Cathedral of the Diocese as it is presided over by the Bishop.  Our Archdiocesan Administrator, Bishop Robert Hermann, was his buoyant self today as he most joyfully led the Priests in the renewal of their commitment to Priestly Service.  Each Priest again pledges, on this anniversary of their ordination, to be be the face of Christ to the world.  The Bishop inspired his fellow priests and told them to “not fear” and be “confident in Christ” as they serve in their ministry.  He spoke the words written by Pope John Paul II as he lay in his hospital bed — With Christ you enter into the perfect sacrifice as the Priest offers himself as a gift and his life takes on new meaning.

Bishop Hermann also counseled his brothers to sanctify themselves in a sacramental life and to remember that when they are celebrating the Eucharist, “you are becoming that sacrifice offered upon the altar”.

Wow, what an almighty job they do for us — God Bless our Priests!!!

I would obviously be remiss if I did not speak about the “Chrism” part of the mass so here you go…

Chrism comes from the Greek word meaning “anointing”.  The Chrism Mass is a special mass celebrated on Maundy Thursday where the Bishop of a Diocese blesses scented olive oil to be used during the coming year.  There are three urns of Chrism oils — the Oil of Catechumens, the Oil of the Sick, and the Oil of Chrism. The first oil is used during the sacramental initiation of adult catechumens and infants.  The second oil is for the sacramental anointing the sick.  The third oil is the sacred oil of Chrism for Baptism, Confirmation, the Ordination of Priests and Bishops, and the Consecration of Altars.  You can see the photo below of the three giant urns which were carried up to the altar to be blessed.  Boy they were struggling to keep them from spilling and even hold them up because they were so heavy! There is another photo which shows the Bishop consecrating them.

Finally I will say again just how much I was inspired by this gathering of so many Priests (and Deacons and Seminarians and sweet young Altar Boys – one of whom I know was absolutely smitten with all the activity of the day!)  I hope by posting these photographs and writing that the entire world may benefit from a glimpse of the beautiful faith known and embraced here in St. Louis.

I will be heading out for the Mass of the Lords Supper and Tenebrae later and I promise to share some more photos then…

P.S.  I’d like to thank our Archdiocesan Communications Director for getting me up to a position in the Cathedral to take these amazing overall images.  Deo Gratias!

Oh, one more thing, I actually wanted to find the exact quote from Pope John Paul II which Bishop Hermann quoted in his homily but couldn’t.  Here, however, is another one from dear JPII from a General Audience talk he gave in 1989.  It is very much the same and quite fitting to the theme of the day…

“Uniting himself with Christ the priest and victim, the presbyter shares not only his offering, but also his feelings, his disposition of gratitude to the Father for the benefits he has given to humanity, to every soul, to the priest himself, to all those who in heaven and on earth have been allowed to share in the glory of God. ”

Outside after mass.

Tenebrae at the Carmel of St. Joseph

I just wanted to post a quick photo from the Tenebrae service last night at the Carmel of St. Joseph.  The Crux Ave choir has been absent from singing this wonderful prayer for many years but they have come back in full force singing their melodic hearts out!  Deo Gratias!  The chapel was full of the faithful and it was a great experience.

Tenebrae  is the plural of the Latin for the word darkness.  Originally it was celebrated on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday, which are the last three days of Holy Week. The prayerful and chanted liturgy of Tenebrae is made special by the gradual extinguishing of candles on a triangular candelabra.   While the psalms are sung (along with some readings) one by one the candle lights are put dark.  Eventually the entire church exits in a silent darkness. Tenebrae readings and psalms are those of Matins and Lauds and in the early days it was chanted at those times.  Now adays, I suppose there is a little more leaway in its celebration and that is why the Sister’s and the choir sung last evening.

You can learn more about the service here.

And so Passion week begins…

Palm Sunday is always so bitter sweet.  How we want to rejoice and cheer for Jesus.  What we wouldn’t do to see Him riding down our own little street to bless us with the presence of Himself in the flesh!  To have the chance to be with Him and feel his holy, penetrating, knowing and loving being with us in our poor little lives.  And today we do rejoice with Him as they did during His time.  But we know the whole story.  We know what He will suffer for us (even if we only can guess at the infinitely difficult task He performed for love of us!!!)  Just to meditate on one little aspect of this suffering is enough to melt ones heart into a puddle of loving sympathy let alone try to comprehend the entirety of His trial!

Bishop Robert Hermann led the faithful at the Cathedral Basilica in today’s Palm Sunday Mass.  We began outside the church and processed along with the clergy and choirs into the building with the antiphons chanted and bells ringing their song.  Bishop Hermann has had the task of being the Administrator for the Diocese ever since Archbishop Raymond Burke was called to Rome and we are so blessed to have such an enthusiastic and deeply spiritual man at the helm.  He is an extraordinary speaker and one could listen to his homilies again and again.  He is always so animated and fun in his style but is a no-nonsense man in his duty to the truth!  Today he seemed so very different.  He was not his usual bubbly-self but a man somber and sober and perhaps he too was looking beyond the rejoicing of Palm Sunday to the suffering and trial ahead during Passion of Holy Week.  He reminded the faithful in the first words of his homily that for some of us it will be our “last celebration” of the Passion.  His homily continued on to remind the world to remember the mystery of our salvation which is epitomized through mystery of the Holy Cross.

I thought I would share some photos from the procession.  We were blessed to have early morning rains which tapered off to allow us to be outside – Deo Gratias!

CAPTION: aeternus' junior's photo of the facade of St. Francis deSales Oratory.

I must admit to have such a weak and feeble soul that I need to give it lots and lots of nourishment through the practice of prayer and with the encouragement and love received in the Eucharist.  It is an incredible gift to live our lives in practice with the many opportunities for grace given through the Holy Church and boy am I thankful!!!

First Friday devotion has always been something special but about 9 months or so ago it became a little more special.  I have a wonderful friend in Christ who invited me to attend First Friday Masses of the Sacred Heart at the Oratory of St. Francis deSales her each month.   It has been a great experience and it was especially fun to go throughout the winter months when darkness had already fallen and we made our way into the chilly Church at night.  The Oratory is a most beautiful building and so very large that it must cost a bazillion dollars to heat so part of the fun of Mass is not only seeing the holy incense smoke rising though the church but your own chilly breath as well!

As this past Friday was the first of the Month I was looking forward to meeting my friend again for fellowship in worship.  It was not to be though, for some family obligations came up at the last minute which required her attention.  My heart could not keep away from wanting to attend Holy Mass so I had made up my mind to travel downtown on my own.  Then, as it happened, I got a phone call from another one of my very dear friends.  She lives downtown in my old neighborhood (which is not far from the Oratory) and her voice was full of excitement.  ”What are you doing tonight?” she asks.  ”Well, I”m going to be down your way actually at mass,” I say.  And then I got the rest of the news and I had wished I had not already told her I would be nearby!

It seems they have been shooting a big Hollywood movie here in St. Louis and they would be filming a big scene at the house a few doors down from her own this evening.  My friend’s husband had invited EVERYONE in the WORLD he knew to have a “movie star watch party”  from the front steps of their house.  It was expected to be quite a spectacle and I think she wanted me to come for some moral support during the expected chaos.  She is much more social that I am but still gets overwhelmed herself having to play Martha Stewart and entertain her husband’s office friends and clients.  She was certainly exhibiting her usual nervous behavior over the planned event and was trying hard to get me to come and be with her.  As she searched for some words  to convince me to come she finally said, and besides it is George Clooney!

Now, dear reader, this is a REALLY funny situation.  Here I am, a woman who does NOT enjoy:

• social events which require chit chat

• any room filled with more than the number of people contained in a decent sized family gathering

AND

• the thought of popular culture  which is epitomized in anything from Hollywood!

So, I am in an awkward  situation…I feel I must be supportive of my crazy  friend (its o.k. she already knows she’s crazy) and her nutty husband (he knows he’s nutty too) and be of whatever help I can.  So, with great reservation and much hesitation, I say I will come to her house and see if I can be of any help.

Now, mass was wonderful and I am so thankful to have had my little daughter with me.  One of the younger Priests celebrated mass and he was so very altruistic in his sermon talking about the Passion Week which lies ahead for the Christian world.  He was so very genuine and prayerful and I am sure he must have a Mother who is very proud of him!  Mass was over all too quickly for me and then I had to fulfill my obligation to my friend. So down the street we went not being able to find a parking spot because of all the movie trucks and trailers and hoopla.  It was even worse than I had imagined!

Walking down the street to my friend’s house my daughter held my hand tightly and tried to make me promise we would spend only 5 minutes visiting and then run home!  (Ahh, I guess she is just like me.  Crowds are not our thing indeed!)

As it is my old neighborhood I was walking through it was certainly pleasant to have folks stop me to say hello and catch up.  I really, REALLY miss this most beautiful historic neighborhood filled with 2nd Empire French Victorian townhomes and Georgian mansion houses.  There are some 200 structures all centered around a 14 acre Park which lies at the center  of all activity in the neighborhood.  It is a place where everyone walks and knows one another.   It is a “chic” place to live now and have become a fashionable neighborhood with lots of little restaurants and shops.  I guess you could say it is trendy and that is the only reason which makes it o.k for the family to not live there anymore.  Many of the old timers have moved away too.  It used to be the talk amongst everyone was always on some topic of  ”historic renovation techniques” (for until recently the neighborhood had fallen into a state of disrepair but now is some 99.9% restored and beautiful).  But now conversation is centered around more contemporary affairs.  When we bought our own house in the neighborhood some dozen years ago it had not had a roof on it for nearly 10 years!  When we sold the house, however, it was one of the most beautiful places imaginable.  Hats off to my husband who had some great hidden craftsman skills… he did a GREAT job all by himself.  He felt he had an obligation to the history of the house to bring it back to its original splendor.  The truth is we both put our heart and soul into the renovation of the house and it is difficult to pass by it these days.  It hurts my heart too much… but I am wandering from my story…

Back at my friends house a chaotic atmosphere was a-brew.  I managed my way through the crowd and inside to where I found my friend in her most amazing kitchen (they just restored their house too) and she offered us some of her Seafood Chowder along with a happy smile.  She KNEW I would be totally uncomfortable with so many people around but it gives her a dastardly little happiness to see me squirmy and she teases me mercilessly!  My daughter, meanwhile, is clinging on to me for  dear life and she won’t even leave me to go and play with her little friends.  Shouts filter they way in from the street viewers that the movie lights and fake snow are almost in place so the filming is about to start.  My friend makes us go out to the front of the house to have a look.  It is at this point where somehow my daughter and I get separated but I see her going off with a friend so I am not too worried.  I am sure she’ll be right back to me after saying hello to the others.

We stand out on the sidewalk in front of my friends house while some movie lady wearing headphones and a clipboard shouts to the crowd every so often to keep it down or to move back or to keep the children out of the street.  Surely she is just some non-paid intern earning her way into the ways of Hollywood and she is so stressed out that I can not stop saying Hail Mary’s for her.  She was a soul who could use it!  Anyway, time passes and I start to notice that my daughter is now out of sight.  I get worried and start asking around.  Luckily I am surrounded by many old neighbors who know her and care for her so they start looking too.  I go back into the house to look.  She’s not on the first floor…not on the second floor..not on the third floor… not out in the back alleyway playing soccer with the other children…not in the bathroom…  I’m starting to panic a bit.  Back outside everyone promises to keep a watch for her but most were too interested in the Movie Shoot to help.  They could not help themselves for the “Star”, George Clooney, the man everyone had been talking about and waiting to catch a glimpse of all evening was about to show up on the scene (at least that is what the poor intern girl told them).

I was a wreck.  I could care less for George Clooney, Hollywood, crowds of chaos or the hoopla of culture.  I just wanted to go to mass this night because I love dear Jesus and His most Sacred Heart and we are about to enter the week of His Passion.  I did not want to go to my friends house but I did so I would be a good little friend to her.  I made it into a little penitential offering in my heart to God for He knew just what an offering it really was.  I am a wreck and all I can think of now is my 8-year-old daughter who also did not want to go to the party and is lost in the crowd.  This poor little innocent is out among the “wolves of Hollywood” and the “star gawking locals”.  I was so mad at myself for giving into my friend and felt like a terrible mother for loosing this little soul entrusted to me!!

A few other diligent mother’s thankfully joined me and started wondering around the streets calling for my daughter.  For what seemed like hours (though it certainly was just frantic minutes) we looked under bushes and behind other houses.  I  wandered all the time thinking, “gee this must be a little of  what our Blessed Mother felt like when she was looking for our Lord”.  I walked through the dark streets and along the sidewalks calling out for her when I spotted a “new bit of Hollywood Hoopla” happening up ahead of me.  There were cameras flashing and I could hear people talking.  As I approached in my desperation what did I find…

I found my daughter.  She was standing with George Clooney and she was safe.

I was so happy to have found her but could not stop laughing at my self and the irony of the situation.  I have been so worried about the “Hollywood types lurking around in the dark” and the safety of my daughter and then I come to find her safe with the Star outside of his trailer!   (Apparently she had wondered over to it with one of her older friends!)

I shook George’s hand in thanks, as he said “But I can’t even see you” (for it was very, very dark outside) and the strobed camera flashes were blinding.   To his credit, George Clooney continued to shake many other hands who were waiting outside of his trailer.  He seemed to me a most amiable and friendly gentleman that I am embarrassed to have thought badly of the whole “Tinseltown Scene”.  His kindness is always to be remembered.

Walking back to my friends house we called off the “search party” and all were glad to see our young girl again.  When I told them all where I found her they could not believe it.  They were salivating in amazement over my “luck” to have met the Star and pouted to have lost their own chance to do so.  They wanted to know how tall he was and anything else I could remember.  I could only remark that his hands were very soft when I shook them.  How funny it is that I should be the one to get to meet the star when I am the least one to care — Though I do love him now because of what happened!  Maybe his next role should be that of Superman!

We lost no time in saying goodnight to everyone after our little adventure.  I snapped a photo of the outdoor set as we crossed the street (which I hope is not troubling to the movie makers for it shows nothing but a silhouette) and another photo of the spectacle outside my friends house.   Jumpin Jehosaphat there were a lot of people at your house Colleen!!! I hope my story is some sort of little lesson about friendship and about trust and in being too judgemental and overly critical about the world. I suppose it is a good exercise in humility for me to write about the experience!